One of the greatest feelings one experiences as a college graduate residing in Madison is on August 14th when you don't have to haul that old dilapidated dresser your grandmother gave you down a flight of impossibly narrow stairs in the sweltering late summer heat, your frustration compounding knowing the landlord is going to keep your entire security deposit because of all the wall gouges you created in your haste to finish the job and get at that last remaining six-pack in the mini-fridge.
I'm talking, of course, about Moving Day.
Or as we cheapskates like to call it: Christmas on the Isthmus. Seriously, college kids throw away the best, perfectly usable stuff. It's like dumpster diving at Ikea if they threw away their unsold wares at the end of the night.
If you've managed to find gainful employment after graduation and don't have to move this weekend, I recommend the following celebratory strategy:
1. First, prep work. If you have a pickup truck or a trailer, get rid of it before the weekend starts. They are only a liability if your friends aren't as fortunate as you.
2. When you first get up in the morning, do absolutely nothing. Literally. Never has not doing anything ever been so fun and rewarding. Physical exertion is off limits on Moving Day.
3. Around mid-day when the sun is at its peak, take a nice stroll down Mifflin or Langdon Street and give encouragements to transitioning undergrads. Yelling "Hey, your car just got towed" or "Dude, some homeless guy ran off with your TV" while casually sipping an ice cold Jamba Juice is sure to bring smiles to their exhausted faces.
4. Later in the afternoon, when it inevitably begins to rain, start low-balling overnight squatters for discount stereo equipment. Don't feel bad; it was their fault they didn't reserve a U-Haul twelve months in advance.
5. Plan a house party with other non-movers for the evening. Most bars reek of B.O. after Moving Day because of all the sweaty, stinky college kids.
I am looking forward to doing nothing this weekend and so should you. Between Christmas on the Isthmus and meeting Gary Coleman at a Mallards game two weeks ago, this is going to be the best summer ever!
Well almost. Meeting Dustin Diamond would have made this the best summer ever. Maybe next year.
I love moving day. – Your dad, Home(08-12-08)
You lied to us. We were out last night and it was not the wonderland you promised. The best we saw was a beat up TV tray and a used mattress. Very used. – Tobias, Madison(08-15-08)
